Writing the three portfolio essays

This week we had to write our three essays for our portfolio, which I actually enjoyed doing.  It was kind of cool to look back on the semester as a whole.  I was able to really evaluate what I did and how I grew as a writer, which I wasn't sure about before.  I'm going to be honest, I was a little skeptical about this course at the beginning.  I never was a big reviser in high school, and I didn't see myself making big improvements on my writing because I was confident with the way it was before.  However, I feel that with the group work and interaction with others in the class I was able to model my writing off of theirs and better my own work.  I would definitely say I grew as a writer because I branched out and tried new things.  I never have written an editorial, and I am not really used to writing narrative or personal essays from high school.  

I really want to sit down and take yet another look at my portfolio before doing my final revisions.  I am very interested to see what my reviser has to say about my writing, and hopefully I will get constructive criticism so I can perfect my writings and be confident in my work.

This week in class

This week in class, I really enjoyed listening to everyone's initiating action projects.  Professor Scott sent my feedback for that, and it was sort of what I expected.  My main concern that I expressed in my cover letter was that I wasn't sure if I was fitting into the genre of an editorial.  She told me that it was more like an essay, which I expected to hear.  I had changed my editorial to add more detail, but realized that less detail may leave the reader wanting to know more, and therefore get involved.  

In class, I was happy to observe what other people did for their projects as well.  I really liked the way that people used videos or a website.  That was very creative, and had a good effect on me.  It also helped me to observe the posters and get a sense for how other people were presenting the posters in relation to mine.  I made the decision to have my poster display the facts so that people got the basic aim of my project, but didn't know exactly what I was doing.  

I think over Thanksgiving break I'm really going to focus on revising my work for my portfolio.  I haven't really done much work yet for that, so it will help me a lot if I can get that done with and focus on actually making the portfolio after break.  

Creating my Editorial

Tonight I worked on finishing up my first draft for my editorial.  I found that it seemed to be easier than a research paper for me, which I was surprised about.  I think it was the freedom that made it easier, because I could use first person and talk about my own opinions, backing them up with facts.  The things that I would really like everyone to look at in class tomorrow is if it really sounds like an editorial.  I tried to sort of mimic different styles of editorials that I researched in newspapers.  However, I feel that it seems like I am sort of just ranting.  I would really like to hear people's opinions on this.  Also, I want to make sure my point is made well.  I tried to use facts and examples from my field research, but I want to make a strong argument.  I think the class and Professor Scott's feedback will be useful in perfecting this. Also, were we supposed to write cover letters for this assignment already, or do that later?

Research on my Genre

I did some researching and browsing around the internet this morning on Editorials, which is the genre that I am going to be using for my research project. This genre seems to typically be used for newspaper editors who have an opinion on a certain topic. They generally present information and research on the topic, but sway towards one side or the other. It seems that in most of the editorials I have read online, they are not directly trying to initiate action, but rather get the word out about the issue at hand. An example of one editorial I found online was in the Los Angeles Times. It is an editorial about how before getting the public's money, the "Big Three" tire companies should have to prove why they are the best. This editorial gives suggestions on ways for these companies to present their arguments and prove themselves. However, the editorial is not demanding anything. It seems that editors generally have a lot of freedom in this genre, because the reader generally knows that they are simply expressing their opinion and giving their own solution. Another interesting editorial I found was in the New York Times by David Brooks. He is discussing conservatism vs. reformism in terms of the recent presidential election. He concludes with an opinion that the republicans will suffer mild defeat now with the reformists like Obama in charge. He seems to hold a more liberal standpoint on the argument. Therefore, it seems that editorials can have obvious bias and get away with it, because the genre is based on opinions. Therefore, it seems that editorials are opiniated, but also supported with facts. The writers seem to be editors of newspapers or magazines. Usually current topics or problems are discussed and sometimes, but not always, some sort of solution is suggested.

Response to Essay Feedback

I just read the feedback that Professor Scott sent me on my essay.  I was very excited after reading this because it seems that I am definitely headed in the right direction and have handled the genre (personal/anecdotal) very well.  One suggestion that Professor Scott gave was to show more of my own thoughts throughout the essay.  I mainly focused on descriptions and story-telling about the day that I spent in my community, rather than on my own thoughts during the site visit.  When I revise my essay, I am going to try and put more of my own thought and opinion into the essay to help the reader understand how I felt.  That was a very good suggestion.

I also plan on trying to correct my "scenes of a play" theme.  I sort of felt before I turned it in that it was not fully clear how the scenes switched, and Ms. Scott suggested I fix this.  I think I just need to make the paragraphs flow better and make it clear what events occur in each scene.  I think these two suggestions will be very helpful in organizing my essay and making it more obvious what I am trying to convey to the reader.

Initiating Action Project ideas

I've been thinking over my Initiating Action Project a lot after our class discussion on our ideas.  I was thinking before about using the same idea as I did in my research proposal and focusing on the teacher and her teaching ways.  However, I thought about what I would do with that and I felt sort of like it was going nowhere.  If I did use the lesson plan idea that the class suggested, I just feel that I would be repeating the same ideas over and over again.  

At this point, I actually decided to consult my roommate for an outside perspective.  I mainly just asked what she thinks would be a problem in a classroom.  She suggested using funding as a problem, which sort of triggered an idea.  I know that every school could use more funding, but I realized that Blacksburg High School specifically probably needs more funding than most.  I remember that when I was observing the class, they were planning a field trip to Harrisonburg to see a Shakespeare play, and they were worried about the money situation.  This seemed surprising to me because at my high school we would worry about whether to go to NYC or Orlando, and they were afraid of not enough funding for JMU.  I was thinking of maybe doing an editorial about educational funding in Southern Virginia using Blacksburg High as an example.  

I am thinking that consulting Ms. Lynde about this idea and her thoughts on the funding at BHS would be a good idea.  She is the chair person for the English department, so she probably knows first hand about the funding and the problems in that school specifically.  She also probably has been to meetings and talked to teachers at other schools in the area.  If I did an editorial, I could use a sort of comparison of Fairfax County (one of the wealthiest school districts where I went to school) and Montgomery/other Southern school districts.  I could sort of use my opinion on the matter and also suggest better funding and more opportunities for this project.  

In addition to this editorial, I could have a "speech" about this problem, using our English class as those on the Board of Education in Montgomery County.  I could make a powerpoint presentation with statistics and examples of my reserach that would be persuasive to that type of audience.  I think these two things would be successful in getting the word out.

How I did in class this week...

I decided to write about how I did in class this week since my essay was due Wednesday and we did a lot of work with that.  Overall, I was very proud of myself.  Last weekend when I was writing my first draft, I felt sort of at a standstill.  However, during the week when I was writing my draft that was due on Wednesday, I really picked my essay apart and made a lot of changes.  I am fairly happy with the way things turned out, and I feel that I have sort of grown as a writer.  I am not at all used to writing personal essays, so this was sort of exploratory for me.  I took a broad look at the essay and took a step back to look at the purpose.  Also, the comments from the peer revision sort of helped me to realize that the reader was not feeling my intended effect.  

I hope that this next week and in the future I can start using my group time more wisely.  While I feel like I made a lot of positive changes, I would like to start getting more feedback from others and work off their ideas as well.

Thoughts about my essay draft...

I just wrote my draft for tomorrow's workshop, and I really had a hard time finishing it.  I intended for this essay to be a personal and narrative essay about my experience at BHS.  I wanted to discuss the changing dynamic in the three classrooms I was studying.  However, after I told my story, I felt like there was nothing to say.  I didn't want to make the transition from a first hand narrative to an informational conclusion, but that's where I felt my essay was headed.  I ended up not really ending the essay, and I'm hoping to get some feedback before I find a better direction for my writing.

What makes a good essay

I just finished reading "Encountering the Essay" and "Essayists on the Essay", and I thought they were very interesting essays.  In "Essayists on the Essay", it seems that the different essayists were at times contradicting each other, because they all shared different opinions on what an essay means and consists of.  In "Encountering the Essay", it seems that they really focused on creativity and personal writing, demeaning the idea of writing the typical five paragraph essay.  

I think a good essay must consist of organization and a meaning.  Personal essays must have a point to them, and cannot just explain an event that has no significance for the reader.  I also think that an essay should speak to the reader and address issues that the readers are interested in as well as know something about.  I think an essay should also be appropriate for what the topic is.  As the essays we read stated, no good essay should really be written towards a topic that someone prescribed.  However, an essay writer should try and consider what direction their essay is headed and try and stay on that topic.  I also think that essays really need to be concise and catchy.  It is really hard to get through an essay as a reader when it is unorganized and has nothing unique about it.  Even research essays can include this.

My essay seems to be lacking organization and focus at this point.  I feel that I am mostly just describing my field work in my essay rather than bringing it all to a conclusion.  My essay does not successfully make a statement about my community, which is my aim for the end product.  When writing my final draft, I really want to try and create a more concrete focus as well as make the essay more concise and obvious.  I will try and reduce the "fluff", while still keeping the essay creative and fun.

Week 8 post

I was reading over the topics that Prof. Scott gave us, and I thought the most appropriate one would be "What do you think are some of the most important decisions writers make when they approach a writing task?" since we are starting to do that with our essays.  First of all, writers need to think about what the focus of their essay is.  As our class on Wednesday showed, there are many different ways to go upon writing an essay.  I think the writer really needs to think about how they are going to approach the essay and what is appropriate for their topic.  This also correlates to the audience.  A writer needs to identify his or her audience.  Once they have done that, they can write to their audience.  

Another important aspect of the essay that the writer needs to think about is their tone.  If the writing is a scientific essay it will probably have a more serious tone than a satire that is telling a story from the past.  In finding the tone that they want to use, writers should also consider what they want to invoke in the audience.  Do they want the audience to feel comic relief or a sense of panic and horror? The way that one writes can greatly change these moods.  Lastly, the writer needs to have an outline or some sort of organization.  It would probably be much more effective if the writer sets aside the research they may use and the different quotes or rhetorical questions they might want to add.  Organization was one of the main characteristics that our class agreed that a well written essay possesses.  

Response to the Corrections made to my Research Proposal

I received a lot of guidance in the revisions that Professor Scott made. In my proposal, I decided to ask for research rather than money, because I don't really need money in order to research my small community. However, I wasn't being specific enough about which type of research I needed, so I think I will try to fix that. I also was being too vague with the problem I was addressing. When I was talking about the "new society", I was basically referring to the more diverse classrooms because I feel that diversity leads to student's being able to express their difference in opinions and beliefs rather than one right way to do everything. However, I probably should focus my research question more so that the reader understands what I mean by "new society".

Some of the more organizational issues that I plan to fix are the way that I put information into different sections. When writing the proposal, I used the method of just writing what I thought was necessary and then sort of sectioning it off in a way I thought made sense. However, I think some of my information belongs elsewhere. For example, I was a little unsure of what was supposed to go in the objectives section, and Professor Scott clarified that for me. Lastly, I plan on fixing my References section, because I am using MLA format, which I did not correctly follow the guidelines for. All of these suggestions will definitely benefit my proposal and make it more focused and appropriate.

Response to 3 essays

The first essay I read was "The Stunt Pilot".  This essay first had an abstract that explained what Annie Dillard was researching in order to write this essay.  This essay reminded me a lot of what we are assigned to do in this English class.  Dillard used a lot of the "rewriting" tactics in this essay.  She used her observations to give the reader an example of what she saw when flying with Rahm.  She also uses quotes towards the end of the essay when summing up her observations.  These quotes, along with references to other artists such as Jackson Pollock and Beethoven, help to show a comparison between the stunt pilot and other arts.  I also liked the structure because she told it like a story, yet it was organized into sections and easy to follow.

The next essay that I read was "Ali in Havana".  This essay was also sort of an observation essay and did not seem to have as much objection as the last essay.  For example, when Talese describes Stevenson's wives, he simply says "His first wife was a dance instructor.  His second was an industrial engineer..." rather than giving his opinion of how many wives this man had and how different they were (266).  This essay is also a story because it starts out with several pages of background explanation, which is then followed by dialogue.  It has an introduction, dialogue which is the thick of the action, and then ends with the ending of their conversation.  This helps to make the essay a story and more readable.

The main characteristic that I see different in "Silent Dancing" is a lot more objective speech.  Ortiz describes the events that she observes, and in between observations adds italicized sections with what she saw on the home video.  This gives this essay a different organization, but definitely helps the reader to get a sense for her perception of the past through how she observed it at the time compared with how she observes it on film.  Ortiz uses examples such as Odysseus searching for his dead mother in Hades to help her work on this essay.  This is definitely a tactic we learned in Rewriting.  The ending of this essay is very unique and not as objective as the rest.  Ortiz talks of seeing herself in her father's face, and adds in her own thoughts as an ending to this essay.  This gives the end of the story and sums up her observations.

Revising part 2

I just met with Professor Scott, and it helped me a lot.  I understand better how I can actually improve my proposal and have a few different ideas on how to forward my work.  I'm finding it hard because I keep presenting material rather than talking about what I plan to research.  Since my field is education, there is already a lot of information on this subject out there, which makes it hard for me to make my topic original.  I do definitely have a better feel for ways to improve my proposal though.  I want to address the American Educational Research Society and describe Blacksburg High School to them.  I also need to address what I want from them and maybe put a timeline for my "research"? In my Plan of Action section, I need to be more specific as well.  Thanks for all the help today Ms. Scott!

Revising my Research Proposal

What's your project? 

My project is researching the changes in teaching methods that need to be made in order to deal with the change in the education system in the new society we live in.  I want to propose a way in which teachers can transform their classrooms in order to better involve and interest students.  

What works?

Ways that I thought I could build strength on my draft is addressing how my research would benefit those who I am writing for.  I can make my audience more specific and make my aims a little bit more clear in my research proposal.

What else might be said?

I have been thinking about aiming my research proposal towards the American Educational Research Society instead of just Blacksburg High School.  If I do this, I may need to change the way I address the issues in education by making my research proposal more scholarly and my arguments more sophisticated.  I also may change some of the different sections including my methods, which may need to focus on specifics rather than general ways in going about my research.

What's next?

I am hoping that the research society can help me with information and research that will help high school teachers in transforming their classrooms so that the students learn better.  Gaining this extra research from the society will make my arguments stronger help to prove that the methods I propose would be effective.

Literature Review

Becoming a teacher in today's society is much different than it has ever been before.  The testing system and curriculum that teachers across America are forced to teach under hinders the value and benefit that high school students are receiving.  This stress on teachers and students requires a greater expectancy and performance from both groups.  Teachers also have to deal with other changing aspects of society, such as diversity and different learning styles.  

Nancy Schnog addresses the problem of testing and harsh curriculum in her article titled "Why teens don't read: English teachers ruin it".  While this article's title may seem to be harsh, the author is a high school English teacher and is therefore able to see an insider's point of view and get feedback from her students.  

Diversity in modern day schools requires an acceptance from teachers and lack of judgement.  In order for a class to function as a community, knowledge of each other's cultural background and ways of thinking is necessary.  Teachers must keep an emphasis on "cultural identity" in our "pluralistic society", according to Elizabeth Quintero's Becoming a Teacher in the New Society: Bringing Communities and Classrooms Together.  She focuses many of the chapters of the book on how families and communities correlate with what goes on inside the classroom.  Students are greatly affected by their environment and a teacher can not assume anything when working with teens.  They must be open to anything and be fully understanding while still remaining fair and critical.

This diversity lends itself to the need to create and use new methods of teaching.  Sue S. Minchew and Peggy F. Hopper are former high school teachers that speak of using humor and fun in the classroom as a means of teaching.  They speak of specific strategies that Language Arts teachers could easily include in their day to day teachings.  

I would like to focus my research on how Mrs. Lynde from Blacksburg High school overcomes the problems of testing and curriculum while dealing with diversity and also accommodating different learning styles.  This will help me better understand what makes the community successful as a unit.

Fieldwork and Interview Results

I went to my interview and field work today at Blacksburg High.  I worked with Katherine Lynde, the English department chair there.  The day went well, and was very hectic.  It was what they call "club day", where organizations meet during school and students get to "shop" for which clubs they may be interested in for the following year.  I first sat in on part of Ms. Lynde's class, and then the "Black Awareness Club" met in her room.  The students were overall very rowdy and inattentive, which she afterwards apologized for.  The first "club day" is always hectic, she told me.  The next class was a "college bound" class in which she mainly handed out scholarship applications and had the students take down notes on different parts of speech.  I then stayed for her lunch period in which I asked her a few questions.  I did not end up really sticking to my interview questions, because Ms. Lynde was very outgoing and sort of went on her own tangents.  It was an overall successful day and I received a lot of advice and background information about my community and teaching in general.

Course Goals

-Learn to become a better "creative writer"

-Learn to do research

-Properly present research

-Wrote on something that interests me

-Learn more about the fields of English and Education for my future career

-Improve knowledge on other people's communities

-Meet new poeple in class

-Gain more knowledge on how to write for my English major

-Be organized with my research

-Have fun and learn lots!

Interview questions

Reminder: my community is a Blacksburg High School English classroom... and I am interviewing the teacher.

1. What path did you take in college in order to become an English teacher?

2. What inspired you to become a teacher?

3. Describe the first day, or year you taught.  How did it feel?

4. Where did you grow up? Is Blacksburg a culture shock?

5. What was your most proud moment in teaching?

6. If you could change anything in the past, what would it be?

7. Are you involved with any other aspects of the school district (sports/clubs/organizations)?

8. What are the students like at Blacksburg High?

9. Tell me a story behind an interesting item you have.

10. What do you like best/least about your present job?

11. If you could give any advice for a future English teacher, what would it be?

Slusher Hall Happenings

It began with an invitation from Erin and Shannon across the hall.  They yelled into my room "Chelsea, come here!" They then asked if I had seen The Notebook and I replied that I had.  They then asked if any girl would watch The Notebook with a guy.  I laughed and replied that they probably would.  They then yelled "See, I told you so!" to Matt, a friend visiting from their old high school.  They then introduced me and my room mate Samantha to Matt and Ethan from Powhatan High School.  They were sitting on the bench that is located at the end of Slusher Hall.  Samantha and I decided to come out and join them sitting on the floor.  We started off discussing the excitement of the first game and made observations of the turkey gobble and the drunken girl who was stumbling on the stairs.  Ethan was sort of quiet with a smirk on his face, while Matt was very outgoing and involved in the conversation.  They discussed how they go to Bluefield College in Virginia for baseball.  Hannah, my room mates best friend from high school that was visiting, opened our door and walked out when she finished changing.  She introduced herself and chimed into the conversation.  She discussed how she goes to Belmont Abby in North Carolina, which is a school that was founded by monks.  The conversation jumped back and forth between Matt and Ethan joking about their rules to Hannah discussing the strange people at her school.  Matt and Ethan told us about a rule that they have at Bluefield that when girls come in to visit guys or vis versa, they each must have one foot on the floor at all times.  Hannah then told us that she sees monks walking around her school and they only have buildings two floors high because that's all the monks could do.  Melanie and Lily's door then opened and Mel walked out and said hey.  She sat down and asked what we were doing, when someone responded that we were just chilling.  She was introduced to the non- VT students at this time.  She then sat and talked about her room mate and how she hates college and wrote "1-2-3 breathe" on her personal white board.  Matt and Ethan then got up and took a marker to write on their board.  They wrote "Hey nice meeting you, be happy!"  About two minutes later Lily walked down the hall coming from work.  She saw the board, looked around at us, scratched the writing off and slammed the door.  Everyone was sort of shocked and felt bad.  We then looked at the time and realized it was 830, and no one had eaten dinner.  Samantha, Hannah and I were going to their friend Jay's apartment, so we did not have time.  We decided to leave and go get ready to go out instead.  We all said our goodbyes and then we went our seperate ways.

"How Do You Know?"

My group all pretty much held the same views on what a fact or an opinion are.  We think that a fact is really just an opinion that has some sort of proof or evidence which makes it true.  Opinions are not proven to be common knowledge.  However, some truths are not universal and can appear differently depending on geographic location or circumstance.  We believe that something is true because society accepts it and an authority figure tells us that it is true.  I also personally think that some opinions are better than others.  Some people present opinions with no basis or logic.  There is no support or reasoning behind their opinions, which makes their opinion look more weak than others. 

I chose Blacksburg High School (an English classroom) for my community to research.  My views on the difference between fact and opinion will help me in my research because I will be able to distinguish between another community's truths that I am not a part of.  I realize that what may be true for them may not be for me, coming from a Northern Virginia school system. I also realize that when interviewing I am looking at opinions, and some may seem "better" than others, but all are important.  

Communities

I am thinking of a few communities for my project...

Some off-campus ideas were my mom's hometown (Manorville, Long Island, NY) where I have a lot of family, my mom's school that she works at, or maybe some sort of volunteering group.

On campus ideas include the Collegiate Times, Hokies United (a community service group I found), or an Obama Campaign.